Yet Another Love Storyby Ramesh Mahadevan Once upon a time, boys and girls, there was a huge, beautiful Shopping Mall, in a huge, beautiful city in India. This Mall was located in the heart of the city and inside its gigantic structure were hundreds of shops of all different kinds - clothes stores, boutiques, sporting goods shops, perfumeries - you name it. Its many corridors looked dizzily magical with ornamental storefronts and beautiful arcades. A large and joyous fountain took the center stage on the ground floor, surrounded by a jungle of indoor foliage. And if you kept going up from the ground floor, you would ultimately end up at the mega Food court on the top floor. The whole place was very, very colorful and lively, to say the least. Oh, yes, did I tell you that soft background music played all the time through the umpteen hidden speakers? Teenagers, children, office-goers and more teenagers, would ride up and down the escalators, walk left and right, sip their soft drinks; eat their chaats - and occasionally, would even shop. The entire Mall was also pleasantly air-conditioned, thank god. So, on hot summer days, (and even on some hot winter days) many, many people would come in, just to get a respite from the blazing, hot sun. Oh, it was such a wonderful place it instantly brought happiness to everyone. I won't be very wrong if I said it was almost like a heaven on earth. And our story takes place on the fourth floor. In no less a place than the toilet, right next to the escalators. No, no. This is not that kind of a story, I promise. So, you might as well read on. It all began like one day when God himself decided to visit this Mall, because he'd heard so much about it. He had a really good time - soft drinks, chaat, window-shopping and all. Finally, before heading back, he used the above toilet on the fourth floor. When he came out of it, he suddenly thought up a weird plan. Mysterious are the ways of God, you see. He looked at the two pictures at the entrance of the toilet - one that of a male and another, that of a female, the usual pictures to denote the men's and women's toilets. And boom! In one magical moment, he made the two of them come alive! In just a few additional moments, the man and the woman - the guardian angels of the toilet - actually emerged from the toilet walls! "Here..... I am going to give you a new lease on life." said God."I feel very bad that you both have to stay here all day while everyone else is having a swell time." "Thank you, sir." the man said shyly, happy that he was finally out of his misery. He started to stretch awkwardly - see, years of standing behind the wall had made his legs stiff. The woman, for her part, was adjusting her saree, which had become crumpled a bit. "But wait!" God said. "There are certain conditions attached to your new-found freedom. First of, you can leave your posts only when there is no one around. Which is probably mostly in the nights. When you see or hear people, you will have to return to your usual toilet booths, because it is your duty to serve people by indicating which one is the men's toilet and which one is the ladies'" "But sir, that is so unfair. We too want our total freedom, just like everyone else." God looked at him and smiled benevolently. "That is a reasonable request alright. So, let me make a deal with you both. If you behave well and impress me with your good deeds, maybe I can consider giving you a permanent life." The couple went wild with happiness. "But watch it." God went on. "If you do anything sinful - even if it just one of you who does the foul act - both of you will be punished and you will lose even this freedom. Now scram!!! I can already hear some people coming. Go back to your assigned places and come out later when they are gone! Bye for now, children." And then, Boom, Zip, God simply disappeared into thin air. Where does he go, I don't know.
It was nearly ten that night. The Mall was emptying out faster than a beer keg in a college party. The security guards were making their nightly rounds and switching off some of the lights. (However, they usually left the music on all through the night, for some strange reason) Sensing it was safe to venture out, the man and the woman gingerly stepped out of the walls of the fourth floor toilet - and into the wide world! They had shy smiles on their faces. It was truly wonderful to have a life. "You look very pretty, you know." the man said to the woman. "I have been wanting to say this for years. What is your name?" "My name is Radha." the woman replied coyly. "You don't look bad yourself. I love your mustache very much. It makes you look very manly. And what is your name?" "I am Eknath" the man said. " You have a beautiful smile. I am not sure if I can call it a smile. But it sits on your face so well." "You are such a flatterer." she said. "What says we walk around a bit?" "Wonderful idea. We should remember where our toilets are, just in case we need to rush back when we sight people..." Eknath reached out and grabbed Radha's hand, almost as if he was programmed to do so. She didn't mind it one bit. In fact, she felt as if she knew him for years - which was actually not too far from the truth. Together, hand in hand, they started exploring the universe surrounding their fourth floor toilet. It was, oh, so romantic! They stopped at all the luxury stores, ogled the eye-popping neon signs, gawked at the modern gadgets on display. Everything was new and fancy to them. It was almost as if they were visiting a wonderland. When they idly stopped in front of a watch store, Radha even snuggled up to Eknath. It was absolutely exhilarating. You see, the world indeed is a fun place when you have someone to snuggle up to.
They hadn't had enough. They went to the next level down. They stopped by the huge shoe store and gazed curiously at all the modern footwear with multi-colored uppers. They giggled at the enormous suitcases they saw in the luggage store. When they came up to the expensive jewelry store, Radha couldn't believe her eyes! There were so many exquisite chains and necklaces and bracelets on display. "Look, Eknath. Isn't that lovely?" she exclaimed, pointing to a window where a beautiful diamond necklace was displayed. Eknath moved closer to take a look. You know, boys and girls, God created men and women very differently. That's why when Radha was peering at the necklace on the mock-up torso in the display window, Eknath was staring at the curvaceous bosom of the torso. "Wow. That woman is really well endowed. I wish I could see the rest of her body." he gushed out. Radha got angry in a flash. She pulled her hand away. First day of their new life and they were already having their first fight! "How can you even think of another girl when I am right here beside you? I wanted you to look at the necklace, not the female." She started walking away in a huff. "Hey, Radhu, stop!" Eknath rushed after her. "Don't be so hyper-sensitive. I was only half-serious. Yes, like many men, I too have a weakness for sexy, good-looking girls. But you know that it is you that I really love. You know that it is only us two who are united in fate. Come on, darling." Radha was still upset. "You haven't even seen this female's face and how do you know she is going to be good-looking? Just because she has a big chest?" Eknath made a hangdog expression. "I am sorry, okay." He then reached out and held her hand. Just then, the background music, God knows where it was coming from, got louder and more upbeat. He put his other hand around her waist and started to dance. "What are you doing? Stop it!" she protested half-heartedly. Actually, she really liked it. This Eknath guy is quite a handful, but a lot of fun, she thought. "I love you, Radha." Eknath whispered in her ears. "When we get our permanent lives, we will marry each other. And I will buy you that diamond necklace as a present." They danced for some more time. In his boyhood days, he had seen Raj Kapoor dance around adroitly in movies. He wondered if Raj Kapoor was still alive or a statue somewhere. "Quick. I think I can hear the Security Guard coming up. We need to go." And they rushed back to their little niches in the walls of the toilet.
The next day, the Mall was busy as usual. There were only ten days to the New Years' and people were pouring in by the thousands. The stores had advertised all kinds of specials and offers. Even the bathrooms were crowded. One man, wearing a red tie, accidentally dropped his wallet in the fourth floor toilet and Eknath alertly rushed inside when no one was looking and grabbed it before anyone could steal it. Five minutes later, sure enough, the same man with the red tie returned to the toilet, obviously still looking for his wallet. Again, quick as a lightning flash, Eknath stuck the wallet in a corner for the man to see. What else? The man was thrilled to get his wallet back with all its contents in tact. Eknath was happy as a lark and God too smiled and made a note of this good behavior. Half an hour later, the tide turned and Eknath thought of a naughty trick - that he and Radha would switch places behind the wall and confuse the heck out of people. In fact, unsuspecting people wandered in - ladies into the men's toilet and men into the ladies toilet - and rushed out, all scared and embarrassed. Radha and Eknath were giggling away like schoolchildren, until Radha got a bit worried and asked Eknath to switch back to his original spot. At his temple, God quietly scratched off the good mark he had just given them. I tell you, this fellow called God, he has no sense of humor, whatsoever. Come ten in the night, the crowd began to melt. A lot of shops brought down their shutters right on the dot. And once again, Radha and Eknath crept out of their tiny hideouts. Today they were determined to explore the rest of the Mall, but of course, they would also be careful not to stray too far off and be spotted by people. "Ouch! I hate this moving staircase!" Radha complained, as they took the escalator down. "Here, dear. Hold my hand." Eknath stuck his hand out. "You know, I used to live in a two storied building myself when I was a boy. Of course, our staircase didn't move. When we get back our permanent lives, you know what I want to do? Go back to my village by the sea, sit in that house of mine and breathe the salty air...Of course, you will be right next to me." "Yes, and we will have two or three children. I love children." The ground floor had all kinds of interesting shops. And the whole atrium area was decked up for the New Years'. There were festoons, huge banners hanging from the ceiling, mini train, so on and so forth. Suddenly Eknath stopped. "Look at that." he pointed to the back wall of a large travel agency. "What do you want me to look at?" Radha asked, as she tried to look past a large globe and a toy airplane. "This is probably the place where you buy tickets to go to London." "Look at that beautiful woman on the wall." said Eknath. "I think she is the most beautiful girl in the world." Oh no! Not again! Radha looked at him with mild irritation. She didn't like Eknath to drool over other girls like this. "You are flirting again, Eknath. Don't you remember what happened last night?" "But this girl is different. She looks perfect. It says her name is Aishwarya Rai. Hopefully one of these days, God will bring her to life as well..." "Dream on, boy! She is pretty, alright. But look at her. She doesn't even have a Bhindi. on her forehead. And she is wearing pants and a shirt like a man. If you put her at the entrance of a toilet, persons with poor eyesight can't even tell it is a women's bathroom." "You are simply jealous, Radha." Radha felt instantly offended. Is this man, Eknath, truly in love with me or is he just interested in women in general? "Why would you have such a weakness for these so-called good-looking women? Are you simply trying to be macho? Whatever might be your motive, why are you doing this to me night after night? Would you be faithful to me after marriage? Even after two children?" Radha screamed at him. She put on a long face and started walking away sullenly. Again, just like the previous night, Eknath came around, said sorry and tried to humor her. He told her all kinds of funny childhood stories. Slowly and slowly, Radha got into a better mood, even though at the back of her mind there was this nagging question whether Eknath was a good man or not. They sat by the fountain and dipped their hands in the water. Soon it was six in the morning and they made a beeline to their dens in the fourth floor bathroom.
It was already night number three and the couple was still enjoying most everything. There was live music in the Mall that day and it looked as if the entire city had descended down. It was well past ten, but even then, there were people on the ground floor unplugging the audio equipment and clearing the area. Eknath and Radha tiptoed out of their perches, and decided not to go to the lower floors for fear of running into people. They walked around the entire fourth floor five times, stopping by all the usual stores. Then, with much trepidation, they went down to the third floor. Suddenly, Eknath stopped at the window of a Saree store. "Now, what are you looking at, Eknath-ji?" "Look, out there." he pointed to a distant corner where there was a bunch of mannequins. Some of them had beautiful sarees wrapped around them, but two or three of them were, well, quite naked. The store people were probably going to wrap new sarees on them. "That's the kind of girl I like. Slim and fair-skinned..." - Eknath. Hell was breaking lose all over again! Radha couldn't believe her ears. She was outraged. "You are salivating over other girls again, aren't you? You call that fair-skinned? They look bleached - even more pale than the Europeans. And you like that? Are you saying all this just to annoy me or are you really a bad man that chases all broads?" "It would be wonderful if God brought this entire bunch of girls to life - even the naked ones. Boy, that would be a spectacle. Look at the shape of those girls. It is almost as if someone sculpted their bodies...." That was it. Radha was hopping mad. "Okay, Eknath. I have had enough. I don't want to talk to you any more. I don't want to hear crap from you about your loving me. I don't believe you at all. I don't love you and I don't want to marry you. You can go ahead and marry any of those dames, maybe all of them. ......I am going back..." A 'ping' went inside Eknath. His entire life - all three days of it - flashed by. Suddenly he felt very ashamed and remorseful, this time, for real. "Hey, hey. Wait. Honest to God, I am sorry. I shouldn't have hurt your feelings by drooling over these strange females. I am really sorry...." Radha wouldn't listen. Flirt every day and say sorry every day. When will this cycle end? Eknath tried to go near her and hold her hand. But she warded him off. There were tears in her eyes. Eknath didn't realize that his little imprudence would go this far. Would he lose the only true love of his life? No. He won't let that happen. He really, badly wanted to prove his love for Radha. So, what did he do? He rushed to their favorite jewelry store on the other side of the walkway. The store was locked, since it was well past ten in the night. So, he broke open the glass of the display window, Kaboom! And, quickly grabbed the diamond necklace that Radha had coveted and put it on that surprised woman. She looked like a little goddess with that necklace. Far more beautiful than any of the mannequins. Perhaps even more beautiful than Aishwarya Rai. She could have been easily the Queen of the Other World of figurines, dolls and sculptures. She was moved by what Eknath did. By his sincerity and love for her. "Now do you believe me, love?" he asked, looking her in her eyes. "Will you be mine, always?" "Yes." she answered softly. There were drops of tears running down her cheeks, but this time they were not tears of sorrow. "We will always be together Eknath. Nobody can break us apart.", she mumbled. "And I will not hurt you by lusting after other women, my love. You will be my only love. This is a promise." Just then, there was thunder and lightning. God suddenly appeared from nowhere. He looked very angry and before they knew it, God put them back in their old habitat - entombed forever in the walls of the fourth floor bathroom. Wait dear, let me wipe my tears. Pass me those Kleenex, please. Well, where was I? Oh, yes. I don't know why God was so merciless. Why did he handle a simple, lovers' quarrel so badly? Clearly, he knows of the frailties of human beings. Perhaps, the whole thing was not meant to be. Hmmm. As they say, mysterious are the ways of God. After all, wasn't he the fellow who stuck an apple in the Garden of Eden? What is the moral of the story? I don't know, but I can take a guess. Maybe the Big Guy wanted to show us that human beings plus hormones equal a lot of heartache. What all silly things we do in the name of love, relationship and machismo! Even criminal acts like burglarizing a store. I think He was just trying to warn us, 'Hey you, in love, you'd better watch out!' And then, what? That big and beautiful Mall still exists in that big and beautiful city in India. And, boys and girls, if you ever go to the fourth floor toilet, you can still see Radha and Eknath by the toilet entrance. Only, now, a lovely diamond necklace adorns Radha's neck. |